


Platonic Bonding

by Broba



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-20
Updated: 2012-02-20
Packaged: 2017-10-31 12:33:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/344106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Broba/pseuds/Broba
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The kinkmeme prompt intrigued me, and I was pleased how this came out- a solid little tale. This marked the first time I had set a story in a contemporary Earth setting, and formed the start of a loose AU cycle wherein the trolls were assumed to be living on Earth and attempting to integrate with society in a largely realistic manner.</p>
<p>John's boyfriend Karkat just seems drawn to trouble, and when things reach a head he must face up to the consequences of his actions, and the reaction of Dad Egbert.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Platonic Bonding

Karkat knew exactly what was coming, but that didn't make things any easier. He had been deposited unceremoniously at home by the police with it made clear in no uncertain terms that there would potentially be further trouble with the law to come. Karkat knew enough of human laws to understand that the wheels of justice did not crush here, but they did grind. Slowly.  
  
The cops hadn't detected sufficient alcohol on his breath to actually arrest him for DUI, but that was more down to a quirk of his biology then his innocence- he had been drinking and Dad would know it immediately. And, he had been driving. Dad would know that too. For the time being however, Dad was expected home from a late night in the office at any time, and the officers who had pulled him over insisted on waiting. John had tried to talk them off, but that did little good. Dad was still, technically, both of their legal guardian and the cops wanted A Quiet Word with him. John sat still on an armchair, unable to keep a deep blush from his nose and cheeks. Karkat was sandwiched on the couch between a corpulent sergeant with an iron grey moustache who obviously believed in scaring 'em straight, and a younger cop with a blank expression trying his best not to look like a rookie. The situation was deeply humiliating to all concerned except perhaps the sergeant, who was doing this For Their Own Good.  
  
Karkat was dreading the moment he surely knew to be coming, where he would be described by some insufferable asshole with a badge as A Good Kid, Really who just needed more of A Firm Hand. If the cop even dreamed of suggesting that he might Find Answers In The Church then he would just give up kill himself right there. John was unreadable. Karkat would have felt better if he had been furious, or terrified, or in some way reactive. Instead he just sat there staring at the space between his feet. When Karkat had stormed out, John had been angry enough. Now he was back and suddenly John had nothing to say. Karkat could handle just about everything but that. There was a low, insistent grinding noise spreading through the room and Karkat realised with a start it was his own teeth.  
  
Dad came home to an eerily quiet house, and walked straight in to that tableaux waiting for him. He set down his briefcase and adjusted his pipe. He looked the sergeant in the eye and shared a look, nodding briefly. The cop knew who was in charge and stood up to offer a hand. Dad shook it and they explained pleasantries.  
  
“Why not tell me what this is all about, officer? Can I offer you and your colleague a pastry or the like?”  
“Thankyou sir no, I'll get right to it- I can tell you're not the sort to beat around the bush.”  
“No bushbeating here officer, you can tell me straight. I'd very much like to know what brings you onto my property like this.”  
“This lad here gave your name as his legal guardian.”  
“Well what do you know about that, all it took was a caution from a police officer to make him admit it.”  
“He's lucky not to be arrested sir, we found him driving erratically and when we pulled him over he near turned the air blue with his language. Now, we administered a breath test...” the sergeant left it there, intending to allow his meaning to hang, weightily, in the air.  
“Naturally you found nothing. If you had arrested him then you would have needed to verify his identity before releasing him and I happen to know he did not have a driving license or documentation when you pulled him over.”  
“Are you telling me that he doesn't have a license, sir?”  
“Not at all, I'm simply aware he didn't have his to hand when you pulled him over. And the fact that we are all here now means you wished to impress your authority on the situation without taking him down-town, as I believe the term still is. Correct?”  
  
The sergeant coloured slightly. Dad just stared at him coolly, meeting his gaze with equanimity. He removed his hat and coat, handing them to John without a word to hang up. John gratefully took the garments and ducked from the room with a brief glance back at Karkat. The sergeant, attempting to regain the initiative, turned back to Karkat and looped his thumbs into his belt.  
  
“Well son, I hope you've learned-”  
“Excuse me officer, how about you talk to me about anything you had to say.”  
  
The cop half turned, in surprise.  
  
“I am the guardian here after all.”  
  
Weirdly, the cop was suddenly aware that Dad was standing square in the doorway, and there was no polite way that he could now depart with Dad stood right there. He felt, in fact, oddly trapped.  
  
“Well sir, this young fellow, he's a good kid really I can tell,”  
“Oh? How many of your own do you have officer?” Dad smiled around his pipe warmly.  
“Uh, that is I don't myself-”  
“Ah I understand. No doubt you have much experience of Bad Kids from The Streets however.”  
  
The cop nodded slowly. There was a trap here, he knew it, he just couldn't see it. Dad was still stood there blocking the doorway and the cop was starting to wish he wasn't.  
  
“Well yes sir, I could tell you there's things I've seen that would-”  
“Oh no doubt.”  
“Uh, yes things I've seen, I mean, when you're a cop you have to know how to deal with people.”  
“Say officer, I imagine you have to deal with Rough Kids all the time, and Set Them Straight.”  
“Yes sir! I consider it the most important part of this job you see-”  
“Have you considered,” Dad slowly swivelled his pipe from one side to the other, “leading them to  Find Answers In The Church?”  
  
The cops departed at last- when Dad finally let them go. In the end the sergeant had been forced to accept a box of finest cakes for Our Brave Boys In Blue down at the station. He had looked utterly terrified and they had practically scurried to their car. Karkat wanted to yell something after them, until Dad looked at him and raised one entire eyebrow. Karkat swallowed what he had been planning to say. John crept into the room when the cops departed and sat down next to Karkat. Obscurely, Karkat felt a wave of relief to feel the comforting warmth of him nearby.  
  
“Well boys!” Began Dad, “What a to-do! I imagine it's been quite a night!”  
  
John mumbled something. Karkat looked at the wall. Dad waited an appropriate amount of time, till it was clear neither of them was going to speak up.  
  
“Well boys, I don't know about you but I'm bushed! I'd better get started on dinner- I could eat a horse and that's not a word of a lie.”  
  
Dad cheerfully walked off to the kitchen without another word. Karkat stared in shock after him, and John groaned in despair.  
  
“What the f-” Karkat lowered his voice to a hiss, “fuck was that? Isn't he going to yell at me?”  
“No,”  
“He's coming back with a knife isn't he. This is it, I know it.”  
“No Karkat, it's worse.”  
  
Karkat clenched his fists. John wasn't talking, Karkat nudged him fiercely,  
  
“Come on Egbert! What is happening here! I don't understand, isn't Dad-lusus angry? When does the haterage begin? Is it a beating? Whipping?”  
“He's not like that, it's worse.”  
“What then?”  
“He's letting you think about what you've done.”  
  
Karkat sucked on his lip and pondered this.  
  
“That's it?”  
“That's it. He's just going to cook dinner and wait.”  
“Wait for what?”  
  
John stood up, and held out a hand. Karkat reached up, and John shook it sombrely.  
  
“You'll see.”  
  
Karkat went to his husktop, to check on his downloads. Then he answered his forums. Then he went over his webcomics. He found his fingers drumming insistently on the table. He couldn't get comfortable. He was painfully aware of the time. Dinner would be ready soon. Karkat started to sweat.  
  
Then, finally, he started to think about what he had done.  
  
Dad was working on a particularly pleasing bouillabaisse when Karkat slunk into the kitchen. Dad just went on with what he was doing. Karkat sat down at the kitchen table, which was apparently fine with Dad because he didn't say anything. Eventually it was all just too much.  
  
“Dad-lusus!”  
“Oh, I didn't notice you there. Hello Karkat.”  
“Aren't you going to say anything?”  
“What do you think I should be saying, son?” Karkat always felt weird when Dad-lusus called him that.  
“Are you, uh,” Karkat swallowed, his throat was thick and felt like it was filled with sopor slime, “angry with me?”  
“Should I be?”  
“Yeh,” Karkat drummed his fingers on the table, “you probably should.”  
“Why's that, son?”  
“I took John's car and angered the lawmerchants, I have earned bitter recriminations for my many crimes.”  
  
Dad finally turned and sat down. Now they were facing each other across the table. Dad was expressionless.  
  
“Did you hurt anyone, Karkat?”  
“No...”  
“Did you get hurt?”  
“No.”  
“Then I'm not angry. Those cops were heavy handed and arrogant, I didn't like the assumption that they could tell me how my own house should be ordered, I will not be lectured to.”  
Karkat smirked, “You pretty much scared them off!”  
“That's true, but this isn't a laughing matter, Karkat.”  
“I know it. I will leave your house if you want me to,”  
“What do you want?”  
“Why do you keep asking me things like that!”  
  
Karkat slapped his palms onto the tabletop with a crack far louder then he had intended, and he instantly regretted it. He looked down in shame with a furious blush, he couldn't stand the way Dad just looked at him and asked what he wanted. He wanted to be told what he wanted, that at least he could handle.  
  
“Karkat. Son...”  
  
Karkat looked up suddenly.  
  
“Why do you always want people to get mad and shout at you.”  
“Because! That's how this is supposed to work!”  
“Not here.”  
“What am I supposed to say then! I don't know how I'm supposed to deal with this I can't-” he wanted to say “I can't deal with you,” but that would sound somehow disrespectful and Karkat didn't want to seem that way. If anything, Dad-lusus had earned more respect then anyone, and he never even seemed to try.  
  
“Karkat, listen to me.”  
“Yes.” Karkat sat up attentively and stared.  
“It hasn't been easy raising John alone. In fact it's the toughest thing I ever had to do.”  
  
Karkat swallowed again, he hadn't expected that.  
  
“Even so, John has grown into a fine young man, someone I'm proud to call my son. I trust my son when he tells me you are someone he wants in his life, and I support him. You're always welcome here Karkat, for just as long as you want.”  
“I can stay?”  
“Of course you can. If you made a mistake tonight then we'll deal with it in the morning, that doesn't mean you aren't welcome here in your home.”  
“I-” he couldn't say it, his throat closed up entirely. Dad just stood up and walked around the table to ruffle his hair.  
“Why don't you go and find John, dinner will be ready soon and I bet you're both hungry.”  
  
Karkat slinked sideways into John's room and curled up on the bed, watching him grumpily while he typed. John gave a little half-wave.  
  
“So how was it?”  
“Weird.”  
“You're lucky! One time I nearly set the house on fire, and he actually spent three hours working on his car before I got up the courage to talk to him. I thought I was going to die!”  
“I think I know what you mean.”  
“So are you two okay?”  
“Mm.”  
“And, uh, are we okay?”  
“Mmm.”  
“I'm sorry for what I said, I didn't mean to get you so worked up.”  
“I'm,” Karkat made a vague twisting motion with his hand.  
“It's okay. We're both sorry alright?”  
“Alright.”  
  
John grinned goofily. Karkat managed a pitying sneer.  
  
“Hey, Egbert,”  
“What?”  
“How do you think I'd look with a pipe?”


End file.
